This is can be frightening. It’s from a few days ago. It’s less the individual that’s frightening, but instead it’s the force flowing through and out of them. This force is hate. I hope to continue “Abuse is—” for a while. Because I did learn a lot from this still ongoing journey that I’d like to share.

Have you ever faced hate?

I have a few times. I can tell you why it’s so scary. It’s an entirely illogical force, that wants you gone for existing. For just being you.

It can’t really be reasoned with. It just comes at you, without even knowing you. In it’s arrogance it thinks it already knows you. Like this guy. Important note—

I do not know this man. This is a stranger.

Danger! The first time I spoke with him was a few days ago. He’s an admin and member of that “BPD Supporters Group” I’ve mentioned. The person who helped direct his hate at me was my abuser. Who else?

And much like my abuser, he’s seemingly is obsessed with me. Or at least heavily invested. That is also a symptom of hate. Let’s look at a timeline real quick.

I break up with Nicole Block right before her birthday here, on Jan 5th, 2022.

She’ll request friends with benefits here on Jan 30th, 2022 and I’ll deny.

Ok, now we’re gonna see all the times I said I felt unsafe around her, or needed to distance, or asked for no contact during Feb-March. Let’s count them.

Holy shit.

15 times?! 15 times…I’m shocked actually. Totally didn’t realize it was that much. And that’s over the span of a month. Feb 8 - March 7.

Wow, so I spent half a month with my spiders-sense going crazy telling me that something bad was going to come from Nic. Shoutout to my sixth sense.

Ok, let’s go to early Feb real quick. Cause there’s something weird that happens on Feb 7th that I wanna highlight.

She joins this Facebook group on Feb 7th. “Helping Depressed Partners You Live With” or something. She’ll start posting in there, about me.

Funny, I am not depressed and I don’t live with her. And since it’s a month after the breakup, I’m not with her romantically. And she posts about me in there sorta incessantly. Huh.

This is red flags on top of red flags. Red…

[get out]

[black hole flash with spider]

Wait what?

Oh shit…you guys are back!

Alright…ok. Say that again?

[black hole flash with spider]

Hmm…!

[black hole flash with spider]

Got it. I see. Let’s do it.

Hey everyone! Change in plans folks, we’re gonna switch episodes in a couple minutes…yeah, mid episode swap. We can switch it back to “Hate” after. Let’s try something…new. My mood just shifted a bit. Something’s coming back. They are coming back.

Sorry to the viewers…we may “switch hosts” for a bit along with the episode. It’ll be explained in another episode. “They” wanna make a cameo appearance. The words may shift a bit, and the tone may change…it will likely get darker and more mature.

(Wow, they’re finally back…)

A few weeks ago, we mentioned that some new players were coming into “Abuse is—”. Well maybe not “new”, but new to you.

Who are they? On March 7th 2022, I’ll get hit with trauma and I’ll go away for a while. Two other parts of me take command of the ‘ship' to steer things to safety over the course of months. They got separated before I came back from the hospital in June 2023. These are the two parts of my psyche that saved my life. They took over while I was gone. Looks like they’re finally getting back, and that one of them wants to host.

Ah, and there they are…

[focus joseph]

…but, it’s not new to you, abuser. There you are. Found youuuu.

[tinkling red light]

Yes, they felt you. They just haven’t been around for a long while *taps head*. Maybe they even miss their old abuser…as weird as that sounds. Because as you, and I know abuser— as much as abuse is a scar…it is also a bond.

And you are not getting out of the ring from us yet.

Yes, Nicole. Did you know, that all that time you watched me as prey, something in me was watching you as well? Incessantly, watching. And waiting. Unpacking. Analyzing.

Dissecting.

Perhaps you miss them. “The force that moves past the point of nothing.” The one that defies you. And laughs. Since they’ve been gone a while, they wanted to know— are you still weak? Do you still tell yourself you are strong in your head? Does it work? Does Dave make it better? Does he even know? Or does it still plague you?

Hahaha!

Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh!

Lighten up, Nic.

It’s called a trauma bond for a reason. No reason the data can’t flow both ways. I was never a greedy person, you know that. Have a plate. You’ve given me plenty. A tether was always a risk, you know?

What was it you said again?

[be happy to be out]

Ahhh. Well, a lot can happen in 5 years. Or 5 months. Or even 5 days. TikTok, that’s your clock.

Oh, how's our family doing? You know, cause you never reneged on that last promise.

[last promise audio]

You’d always call me family to try and twist me. Might as well call me Sidney Poitier cause…hahaha—

“Look Who’s Coming to Bland Dinner”

Haha, Heh, ahh, best of luck…

Through the muck

And the ruck

…wanna fuck?

You heard me.

Do.you.wanna.fuck.still?

Well, it’s called a trauma bond for a reason, you know...

We are none of us, “perfect survivors”.

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

Btw, this is only a quick “pop-out” for us and them. But you will see them more soon. Because they want their prey.

And the prey, you are they.

Btw, we may be borrowing your dog Kinny for a bit soon. He looks fun. Needs discipline though. We’ll bring him back…in peace. Time to finally step back into the controls, it’s been a while. Let’s get started—

[Abuse is— Evil]

Heh heh. So, what does she post in this depressed persons group? She keeps posting things about my mental health, ahhh, trying to make me seem—

crazy,

or angry,

or violent.

Oh boy…

What will happen concurrently with this is a campaign of gaslighting and coercive control when we talk. All during the month of Feb and into March, a constant stream of emotional abuse with hidden intent is blasted at me each moment she gets while we’re in sparse contact. She does this to slowly break me. It works because even though I broke up with her, I still cared a great deal for her. I was invested.

So while claiming I was this angry/violent person online, she was slowly breaking me to get some strong emotional response she could point blame to.

When I finally break down, she’ll go in this forum and be like—

“oh nooo! he’s having a mental break down.”

But it was her…

It was her.

She syphoned me. And that’s why she joined that group on Feb 7th. She planned to harm me. Every act premeditated. Which also means all the harm that came from those days in March…all the trauma and my life falling apart?

It all rests on her shoulders. That’s her sins. In fact, that’s all she is. Sin. Filth. A net bad. An entirely corrupt human.

If this sounds too harsh of me, just wait a few episodes and I’ll show you. It’ll be tough to watch when it finally clicks. She likes to hurt people like something that escaped from hell. That is who she is. A beast. It’s chilling. She could have killed me. So I’m fighting for justice.

She carefully orchestrates the entire thing. I’ll show you how in an on upcoming post. She’s like a partner that murders their spouse and is all like fake crying. That’s her. That’s the level we’re talking here.

Nicole Block is a monster. Filled with hate. Washed in evil. And I will show you. No more hiding Nic. I was your match in many way.

You can trust me. What’s crazy? When I almost died, she’ll make snide comments and will even laugh about it. Take a peak…

Disgusting piece of criminal filth. Soon to be known worldwide for what she is. You didn’t get me Nic. You’re not good enough.

And…you’re not even good. You’re just privileged. The world gives you a little stool to stand on. And you lie to yourself and think it’s your “cunning”, LOL. This is why you fear Black people huh? You ventured out and got taught a lesson huh? Back to the regular white girl shit huh? Couldn’t take it. Couldn’t hang.

We’ll deconstruct her actions more in another post, but here’s a chilling and fascinating walk-away— You can actually trigger a mental break or suicidal ideation in another person, if they are invested enough.

There’s a formula for it, and we’re gonna reveal it on “Abuse is—”

When Nic uses it on me, I’ll break to a point where I’ll say “I wanna die”. And when that happens, an evil plan enacts. She will also use this in trying to criminalize me.

This is also an activity that hates loves to do to you. It loves the idea of breaking you down. It takes a great joy in dismantling you emotionally and even physically.

[lol he’s suicidal]

So a lot happens in March we won’t mention here. Shit goes down and we’ll cover that elsewhere.

This is what we came here for though.

This is when Nic finds the BPD group.

[hive of scum and villainy]

And with this, I feel as if I’m flying over a desert.

As you’ll see, she’ll post in here— a lot. And this will go on for over a year. Remember, we’re broken up. I’ll be in acute trauma during this time and I’ll be freaked out and trying to find the truth. I’ll use our WhatsApp channel as a means to communicate my fear and sadness when I realize I was tricked, abused, and assaulted.

She’ll claim these messages are me incessantly harassing her. But now we know that even when we were in sparse contact, she would post about me like a psycho stalker.

Which is what she is. A deranged, unfortunate, and pitiful psychopath. That I figured out so easily.

Was I online posting about her during that time of sparse contact? lmao, no. I was making plans to hang out with Natasha *birdman hand rub*.

(Sigh, Natasha….)

Just look at all these posts. This sea of posts— all about me. Let’s see what Cardi B has to say…

[Cardi B]

Thank you Cardi! (Goddamn I love Cardi B). It is suspicious.

So, what purpose do all these posts hold? Let’s go through them.

1) Nic reaffirms her fake narrative this way. She creates a world where she can lie openly, and people help her enforce her lie into reality. Literally a “support group” to support her delusions. Weird shit, man. It’s weird to see her do it. It’s unnerving because you feel like you’re seeing something not human. Between you and me? Haven’t even read them all. It’s that disturbing.

2) Create a sorta online alibi of trying to make me seem crazy. While this wouldn’t likely be for court, I think she likes to have some record out there that also supports her weirdo delusions.

3) She’s threading hate. She’s slowly threading her hate narrative, thread-by-thread over the course of over a year…all to harm me and get others to harm me. The lynch mob. It’s like cultivating a vicious garden. The time invested in this should unnerve you.

That’s what she’s doing here in all these posts, and here’s what will happen to her garden of lies— I will burn that garden down, anything that supports it, and I will reveal the truth to the whole world. Because I refuse to be sealed away in your garden of madness.

That’s for Dave’s Blockhead.

Also, let’s check out an example of how she lies in here versus what is being said between us in WhatsApp.

Nic, you’re a fucking loser, and fraud. Exposed.

[In 4k]

Now back to our terrifying new potential hater. Yuck, yikes.

[Abuse is— Hate, Returned]

Jesus. Yeah, he’s really menacing, aggressive, and seemingly unhinged. Let’s end with a little segment, called “Kenney or—”

You’re alone in a creepy house. Would you rather be with…

Kenney or this chair?

Chair.

Kenney or the bear?

Ew, yuck. Bear.

Kenney or Ohio Politician Steve Lare

Lare.

Nice! Thought so. Sorry Tim Kenney, you’re menacingly scary, and you seem mentally unwell just like I told you. So like I told Nic 15 fucking times before she attacked me— I feel unsafe with you. So please stay away from me.

Also your pants are sagging. Pull ‘em up boy.

Buh-Bye!

…thug.

Dr. King

Hmm..what’s this? A facebook notification? Well, well…

when I was 24

one piece!