This is the first Afterwards where I’ll normally wrap up a few things I don’t get to in the main post.

It’s funny that my abuser mentions this in those Facebook posts where she’ll try to make me seem criminal. First there’s her repeat strategy of using her kids to garner emotions from the public (which like, the only time she’s a suitable mom…ask me about christmas 2020 wink wink)…and there’s the mention of her employer and how I can’t get to them. lmao. We’ll get back to that…

I want “Abuse is—” to be about many things. Nic will likely try to make this seem like a hate blog about her but the truth is after I’ve exposed her in the courts or in the public, my user will be disregarded, and I’ll continue to speak on other things.

Trauma took me on a journey. “Abuse is—” will be about that journey through trauma, but also life, science, psychology, sociology, our minds, the universe, our humanity and our identities. It’ll be about the beauty and sometimes ugliness of being human. It’s also about what happens when psyche shatters, the event that starts my journey. I learned a lot the year I went through trauma.

There’s also another thing Abuse is will be sometimes—

MESSY

Yeah catch me outside too!

Haha! It’s gonna be messy sometimes. But we’ll have fun.

But back to this…

You know, I lose everything going through trauma as a result of assault and abuse. Everything. Because I’m no longer behind the wheel of my mind at that time. Trauma is unreal and will debilitate you in ways I couldn’t have imagined…I’ll cover this more in “Losing Oneself Part II“ but…

I message a bunch of people like crazy during that time.

Friends desert me cause they can’t comprehend what’s going on with me.

My cat Violette will pass from something I could have prevented had I caught it in time instead of being wracked with trauma.

My clean apartment then turns into a mountain of garbage

I’ll lose all my savings…

(lemme explain that one…there’s this woman I meet on the streets of Queens like 6 months before trauma or something…Sorian…so when I’m in trauma she keeps asking me for money…like large amouts. And I…just keep giving her money. So much money. Look, I have no idea idea either. Lemme show you.)